MARCH MADNESS
Glenn Buechlein
2017
It seems like something always comes over me during the early days of spring. I cannot fully explain it. This past March proved to be no exception. The best way to describe what I endure is that I feel as though my body cannot keep up with my mind. It is like a horse rider constantly pulling back on the reins. I ruminate. Like a cow chewing grass thoughts just keep going round and round in my mind. Unlike a bovine I cannot just take one big swallow and end it.
This past March I imploded. This is what I call it. Others have other names. Years ago, I remember reading a series of writings compiled in a book entitled, Somebody Told Me. The author was a good ole boy who had won the Pulitzer Prize for feature writing in 1996. His name is Rick Bragg and he is marvelous. In one of his stories the main character is referred to as a sin eater. A sin eater is someone who absorbs other’s pain and often takes on the shames and blames of an entire community. I am a sin eater. My boss shared that I am empath. I believe they are one is the same. Most of the time I can handle this. There are clearly there are times I can’t.
I need to feel validated and to not be taken for granted. I am confident all humans need this. I believe my calling is to help others. Sometimes people take advantage of this. Sometimes I need to say no. Sometimes I need to take care of myself and put others on the back burner. Sometimes I need to rest and go on vacation. Most of the time I do not heed this advice.
I maintain some essence of sanity by always having small goals to achieve usually outside of the realm of my profession. I thought it would be advantageous to get certified in Functional Movement Assessment per the advice and support of Brady Singleton, PhD. I had the privilege of shadowing Brady as he instructed Indiana University students how to effectively use the assessment. I concluded it would be a useful tool to have in my arsenal. I bought books and began studying for the certification. A couple of months later I took the test and was certified. My spirits were lifted because I felt as though I had succeeded and had tangible evidence of my accomplishment. Often, my position as assistant principal at a high school does not provide even a tidbit of this. There are so many days and hours without feeling any sense of accomplishment. So many things I would like to fix, but can’t. Most of the time I feel as though I am swimming the English Channel but I am going sideways more than forward due to the heavy current.
This past March I knew I was breaking down, but I did not know how to stop it. I sought help from a great spirit who does myofascial (trigger point) therapy on me. My body was a wreck…or more of a wreck than usual. I set up an appointment to meet with Kathy and what she had to say had a much more significant effect on me than her healing hands. She greeted me and promptly asked if I had been sick. I said no I really never get sick. I thought she was referring to the flu, etc. She responded by saying I do not mean that kind of sick…I mean is your soul sick? I thought to myself how the hell does she know. My soul was sick. It was dying. She worked on me and then had me sit in a chair. She was behind me and placed her hands on the top of my head. This was not awkward. I trust this person. She took her hands away after approximately three minutes and stated that she had done all she could do to heal me with her hands. She is asked that a greater force help me heal on the inside. I got my usual hug and was headed out the door when she simply said, “It is time you start taking care of yourself. You always take care of others.”
The next morning I awakened and began my usual morning routine of checking out the news and visiting various weightlifting sites. I do not recall exactly how it happened but I ended up on a page discussing a technique called Be-Activated originated by Douglas Heel. I was immediately drawn in because of what this approach had to offer. Functional Movement Assessment certification was an accomplishment, but it offered no avenues to help me help myself. I needed a self healing program, so I decided that I would sign up and attend a Be-Activated conference held near Chicago the first week of May, 2017. Without hesitation I signed up for both levels of certification primarily because of the proximity of the event and the fact that Doug Heel himself would be there. Luckily I have what I consider the best and most understanding boss there is. She consistently supports me on a variety of endeavors I undertake. Those that know me understand that for me to choose to do this goes against the norm. First, I rarely miss school and I hardly ever have spent a night away from my family. I am a model of routine and consistency. Something was telling me to go. Most of the time I would have ignored this inner voice.
In the meantime I asked a friend, Rodney Crawford, who is an ATC/PTA if he would like to consider attending the conference. He said he would love to if his boss, an orthopedic doctor, would give his stamp of approval. I was all in and going regardless, but it was exciting news when I learned Rodney would be making the trek with me. On May 6th Rodney and I pulled out of town at 2:00AM heading northbound toward Naperville, Illinois for our four- day conference. We arrived with time to spare for the 9 o’clock start so we settled in. The conference was held in a hospital and the attendees were seated at massage tables. These served a dual purpose of being both a desk and a workbench of sorts. I was not nervous or the least bit anxious until I realized I was somewhat of an odd duck. The other attendees were primarily chiropractors, orthopedic doctors, PT’s and the like. Individuals came from all over the United States including South Carolina and Florida. Others were world travelers and arrived from Denmark, South Africa, Canada and India. There were a total of thirty attendees. Most of the time I am confident in my capabilities, but it eased my mind that Rodney was present because I knew I could lean on him and his experience and knowledge if needed.
As the clocked moved closer and closer to go time, it became apparent who Doug Heel was. I had watched videos of him before so I had an idea of what he physically looked like. Let’s just say that Doug is unique. He made it a practice to never wear shoes or socks. He was generally fit in appearance and a coffee cup seemed to be permanently embedded in his hand. I discovered that his hands were not required as he was quite astute at using his heel to do activations as my poor hamstring discovered later. Doug used no notes or PowerPoint during the 4-day conference, yet he always was prepared and spoke without hesitation. He spoke with a British accent and occasionally threw in some Afrikaner to a mate from South Africa that sat in the back row. Doug was clear and concise with his words and he commanded the attention of all. He also commanded respect. I liked this. He was quite articulate but his go to words were cool and clever…with a little awesome sprinkled in. Really these simple words sufficed. Most of the time I can read people. Right away, I rather liked this guy, or so I thought.
Doug began the conference by sharing a brief personal introduction. Mere shards of information regarding both his educational and professional backgrounds were thrown out. We knew he was a PT and was an acupuncturist. He hailed from Cape town, South Africa and had worked for a spell in the UK. One thing he did share was his love for surfing. As the conference progressed more tidbits were shared but only enough to enhance the mystique surrounding both him and the origin of his Be-Activated philosophy. A major component of Be-Activated is striving to know the client. Know their story. Not just what ails them, but their story. Most of the time people share their story and do not even know it.
Doug spent the first two hours of the conference working his way around the room having each attendee introduce themselves and sharing why they attended. I sat patiently waiting my turn as I listened to many interesting and diverse stories. When it was my turn I began speaking about some basic background information concerning the B. I thought I was following suit and echoing what other participants shared. I know I tend to ramble. I was abruptly interrupted by Doug and told to stop my monologue. He said that we do not need it. I confess that I was slightly taken aback and a little embarrassed. Doug then asked why I was here. I quickly responded that I attended because I was a lifelong learner and wanted to expand my knowledge. Doug quickly snapped back and said bullshit. Tell us why you are here. By this time I was bristling and rather agitated. I had been up since midnight and had driven close to six hours only to be chastised and challenged by now what I regarded as a surfer dude from South Africa. Tell us again why you are here. I switched gears and tried a new angle. I confidently expressed that the real reason I attended was because of my many injuries I have had. I wanted to find an approach whereas I could help myself and eventually help others. This was meant with the same response by Doug. Not one, but two bullshits! Now I want to fight. Mr. Heel then rephrased his question and queried what frustrated me the most about my job? My job? No one else was asked this. I abrasively responded that I was not here to talk about my job. Oh, so now we are getting somewhere was Doug’s reply. I will ask you again what frustrates you most about your job. I now was ready to rumble. I coarsely stated so you really want to know what frustrates me. Yes… What frustrates me is that people think I sit around all day assigning detentions for tardies. What I did yesterday, for instance, was to spend all day on the phone with child protective services because kids were in harm’s way. OK…so what frustrates you B? That I cannot fix it most of the time!
Oh, so B come on up and join me at the table. This whole episode is somewhat of a blur but I recall having a difficult time trying to extricate myself from my jacket. My shoulders had been giving me a hard time and I often had to have others assist me when putting on or taking off jackets. Once I freed myself from my jacket I limped on up to the front of the room. This was due to the lingering effects of a ruptured left calf from two years prior. Doug usually avoids sharks when he surfs. This time he was the Great White and I was the seal pup…an injured one at that. This was going to be a feeding frenzy. Most of the time I am more like the predator than the prey.
I crawled onto the table and was quickly assessed by Doug. He checked my sequencing/patterning and discovered that the right side of my body zeroed out. That is correct, a zero. Nobody wants to be a zero…not even on one side! This meant my body was in a state of overwhelm on that side which is also my dominant side, or so I thought. Basically your body should be firing in a 1-2-3 pattern or from the inside out. When assessing the key question is to ask and determine what is doing hip flexion. This was unknown so to speak on my right side. My left side faired a bit better. Doug shared that I was a 2-2-3 on my left side. In a nutshell this means that my quad is the primary mover, but it is charged with doing two tasks. It plays a hand in hip flexion as well as fulfilling its quad duties. Doug explained that 2-2-3 people are more susceptible to non-contact ACL tears due to the patterning of movement. Amazingly, my ACL is one thing I have not torn. Once it was determined what my compensations and dysfunctions were, Doug proceeded with activation or reset. I now simply refer to this as the “assault”, a rather vicious one at that. With no forewarning Doug began working on my ribcage and sternum. I must admit that the pain was monumental. I can take pain and lots of it. This pain was both excruciating and exhausting. I do not want to give the wrong impression here. Activation can be pain free. In most cases I would say it is just uncomfortable. I am different. I needed this. Where you hurt the most is where you need the most help. Your body is asking for it. The sternum is the first place people take on pain both physical and emotional. Most of the time pain is a warning, but this time it was a “Heeling.”
As Doug worked on me I simply stared at the ceiling. I would not even entertain tapping out or asking him to stop. I do not recall doing a lot of writhing. I really did have to travel to a happy place. It was like I was in another dimension. During a pause Doug noticed that my left hand was curled up and resting on my left pectoral. This is common. Individuals subconsciously have defenses and I was protecting my torn pectoral. Doug remarked that I looked so cute with my little purse I was carrying. By this time I wanted to punch him. Doug gleefully continued the activation and I continued to endure my own private hell. He advised the attendees that my eyes were doing some funky things. Doug abruptly finished and asked me to get off the table and stand. He informed me that I may be a little dizzy. This is primarily due to activating the diaphragm and simply the brain is getting more oxygen. As soon as I managed to stand I heard Ooohs and Ahhhs from the others. I was not sure if my fly was open or what was going on. Doug asked me how I felt. Doug has everyone self report and the conclusion of each reset. I responded that everything seemed more clear and expanded. My senses seemed heightened. Doug told me to walk. My shoulders were back and my chest was puffed out big and strong. Cock of the walk. I actually could feel my little tushy as I strolled the catwalk. I was reawakened. I was reset. I was most definitely activated. Most of the time the proof is in the pudding.
My first activation made me a believer. I have been a believer ever since. As the conference progressed Doug referred to me as his new shiny model. I take it that he meant I had so many dysfunctions yet the activations worked. I was both an example to what happens when you have multiple compensations while simultaneously being a model for how activation addressed the cheats and faulty movement patterns developed over time. When we practiced it seems as though Doug always made his way to my area. This was due in part that I had more issues so often help was sought. I recall being worked on and I would see Doug coming out of the corner of my eye. This made me cringe both in fear and excitement. I knew he would help me, but I was also fully aware the Mr. Pain rode shotgun wherever Doug went. Do not get me wrong…I love this guy. Doug will always be a big part of my life experience. I will never forget him. I see him as a kindred spirit. I want to stress again that Be-Activated does not necessarily cause any pain. I was hurt so the activations hurt more. The places that exhibit the most pain are the most hurt. For example, I activated my father-in-law who is going to be 73 years old. He never flinched at all during the process because he was less inflamed than any adult I have worked with. The goal is not to inflict pain or discomfort but rather to reawaken a muscle or muscle group. Sometimes, depending on the individual, this is intense. Most of the time in life to have a gain there is some pain.
I managed to take all Doug had to offer because I knew it would reap substantial dividends. And it did. My shoulders improved 30 degrees in their range of motion. I could raise my hand over my head. I can now get items off the top shelf when shopping. It is, for me, the little things in life that now bring me great joy. My limp is all but gone. It literally limped off into the sunset. I have tried and experimented with just about everything there is to lessen my pain and mobility issues. This philosophy with accompanying techniques is without a doubt the most useful approach I have seen. The effects are immediate and measureable. It is real and impactful. Perhaps most importantly I now have hope. I persisted in a search for something that worked and what I found did not work most of the time. Until now.
Angela Duckworth in her bestselling book, Grit, discusses an experiment conducted in 1964. Caged dogs received shocks to their back paws. The shocks were random and without warning. If the dog being shocked did nothing, then the shock lasted five seconds. However, if the dog pushed a panel with its nose the shock ended early. In another cage a different dog received shocks at exactly the same time intervals, but there was no panel to lessen the shock duration. The first dog had some control in how long the shocks lasted. The next day the dogs were placed in a different cage. In the middle there was a low wall constructed just high enough where the dog could jump it if they try. A high pitch noise warns of an impending shock which comes through the floor where the dog is standing. Nearly all the dogs that had some control of the shocks the previous day jump the barrier. Two-thirds of the dogs that did not have control the previous day just lie down and whimper waiting for the shock to end. What does all this mean? It is not suffering that leads to hopelessness. It is suffering you believe you cannot control. Be-Activated gives me some control and this in turn gives me hope.
Another take away from the conference that profoundly changed my life involved a simple T-shirt. I believe Doug wore the shirt on day one. Doug shared that a friend of his from Portugal had actually designed and created the shirt. Envision a small circle with a Y in the middle. The circle with the Y is inside a star. An F is located below the bottom two points of the star. A larger encompasses all of this. Outside the larger circle are the letters ATOF. The Y is the first circle and it is most important…it is You. You are the star. The F’s at the bottom of the star stand for friends and family. If you take care of yourself(Y) and your friends (F) and family (F) then that is really all that matters. The rest will fall into place and take care of itself. The ATOF outside the circles stands for “all the other f——s.” I have stuck with this and have been happier as a result. This ties in nicely with the zones of the body and movement patters. You want to move in a 1-2-3 sequence, from the inside out. You want to take care of yourself first so that your friends and family can have the best you. Most of the time I ignore silly shirts with slogans.
Sometimes most of the time does not cut it. You do not know what you do not know. When you know better…do better. I leave you with Be-Activated-Be Happy and Be like a dog. Live like a dog eats, voraciously. Be loyal and live each day for the moment. And for everyone’s sake ignore ATOF!
B