When the body feels safe, it will respond immediately
That’s what Doug has been talking about over and over again, and this week I have experienced one of the most amazing moments.
I had herniated my disc of L4-5 a few years ago due to well-intentioned but poorly designed weight training from my coach.
After 2yrs into activation, my back has healed and being un-glued, but it is still one of the places to go to when my body tries to talk to me.
For the past month, I have been dealing with lots of emotional stress, tears, anger, sorrow, fear, and shadows from the past.
I have been activating myself regularly, but the accumulation of stress outpaced the release.
I knew it, but I was too arrogant to really stop and take care of it, I thought that my system would hold, and the expansion would be just a matter of time as long as I keep pushing forward.
How wrong I was.
The first warning came in the form of bilateral hip pain while I was sitting in a class, I felt it, did something about it, and it was contained, I thought I had it caught yet again.
The arrogance and ignorant came in here so I went on doing lots of silly things.
And the next day my system totally collapsed.
I was sitting on the floor having my lunch, just when I was trying to bend forward to tap out the ads of YouTube to continue watching the highlight of the UEFA championship, I felt a sudden sharp pain arising from my lumbar, and it immediately became unmanageable.
Then I heard a “click”.
My mind and body collapsed simultaneously, next thing I remembered I was on the ground, the pain is the strongest in my life, combining with a strong current running to my left foot
“Now I have neurological signs, things just getting better and better,” I thought.
Since I was alone in the studio, the only person can help me is me.
But it is too painful for me.
I prayed, and then working hard to stay in the moment by connecting back to my breathing while trying to find a position to lessen my pain, even 0.1% would be a great help I thought.
But there’s no such position.
So I went from curling on the ground to lie on my stomach to kneeling and then collapsing again, sweating and panting.
Out of desperation, I stayed on the ground breathing, acknowledging everything within while letting them go. For about 10 minutes, I managed to stay present, and then using all my strength to activate my Psoas and Glutes.
Minutes after I heard a “clink”, suddenly the current to my left foot was gone, and pain decreased significantly.
So I lay on the ground for a while longer to activate, breathe, and move.
Then I stood up, went on working for the rest of the day.
When I wrote down this story 3 days after the incident, I have been working and riding bicycle, which deemed impossible by my “traditional physio brain”.
But when the body feels safe, it will respond immediately.
It’s not only my disc that has been reconnected but everything within me.